Volunteer Orientation

Welcome to the Hands in Service (HIS) volunteer orientation! We’re glad that you are joining us!
HIS was created to bring dignity to people that have lost theirs. Valuing individuals is a vital part of a caring community. At HIS we value individuals in order to meet needs and build relationships. Everything we do revolves around the incredible uniqueness of each person, client or volunteer. We believe love gives back. Thank you for joining us today. We hope you will discover a way that you can fit into HIS. You were made for it!

Please move through the steps of the orientation. There will be some areas to read and some interactive portions.

Step 1: Hands in Service Agency Overview

Click here to view the agency overview...

Step 1 of 5

20%

Agency Overview - A word from our Executive Director
Value Individuals. Meet Needs. Build Relationships.

Core Services
Our core services are related to housekeeping: basic cleaning, laundry and food preparation and food security: delivery of hampers from the Food Bank. Here’s what it looks like.

Our Clients
Meet two of our clients and hear from a few volunteers:

Our clients are all living with a life altering challenge. This could be an acute illness, a chronic condition, or the consequence of an accident. These struggles impact both mental and physical health.

How does someone qualify as a client:

Many clients are referred by community agencies and individuals. Others have heard about the service through their church, community resources, or friends; some have called to refer themselves.

To qualify a client has to:

- be between the ages of 19 – 65
- have limited income (often on disability)
- have a limiting condition which makes it difficult or impossible to do household chores

When our office has received the completed client application for service they will be contacted. A field coordinator will complete a home visit and assessment to determine the safety of the environment and to explain the parameters of service. Qualified clients will receive timely service depending on resources.

Volunteer Roles - We have many ways to be involved!
Our volunteers offer practical assistance for our clients without payment and without accepting gifts of any kind. Volunteers with Hands in Service offer time.

Our volunteers are from a variety of backgrounds and range in age from high school students to senior citizens. Some drive hampers for the Food Bank to take food to our clients’ homes. Some join teams and do a once a month speed clean called a “Blitz”. Others create a one on one relationship with a client as an “Energetic Hands” volunteer.

There are volunteers who love the excitement of an event. We have a number of fundraising and awareness events each year.

Name
First Last
Name
This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Step 2: Various ways to get involved.

Click here to view all volunteer options.

Blitz Team

Step 1 of 4

25%

Blitz Team Orientation
"Blitz" is German for lightning and a blitz cleaning is a very focused clean done by a team of two or more people for a client who's life has been upended in some way. It is often the first thing that happens for a client and a way to quickly restore order so that the client can cope with household demands on their own or with the support of an Energetic Hands Volunteer.

Blitz volunteers perform one-time cleaning assignments for clients; clearing out the clutter while restoring a sense of hope and dignity to those who desperately need it.

This is a great opportunity for families, teams, friends, youth groups, or individuals who wish to serve on an occasional basis but cannot commit to a consistent schedule.

Time Commitment: Flexible 2-3 hour assignments depending on client need & volunteer availability.

Your Kit
We use our client’s cleaning products and do our best to conserve their supplies.

You could get yourself a little bucket or ice cream pail and have in it a pair of rubber gloves. This is an essential part of your kit. Other than that, if there are tools that you like to use for scrubbing like old toothbrushes or microfiber clothes, you can toss them into your kit. Also, moisturizer for your hands as you will be washing them a lot.

It isn’t a part of your kit but make certain that you are wearing non-slip, non-marking close toes shoes.

Blitz Story
A blitz was organized at a women’s house named Anita. She was a new client of ours and after our initial home visit we determined that a blitz service would be very helpful to her. She had varying health challenges as well was experiencing grief due to a recent death of a good friend. The combination of these factors had impacted her and her ability to keep up at home. As a result she had gotten very behind on dishes and other tasks. We were able to get a team together of four people and we spent 3 hours at her home. During that time we washed and put away all her dishes. This gave her counter and floor space again. We also put away many bags of food, sorted, and organized her cupboards. We collected six bags of recycling and four bags of garbage. We swept and washed the kitchen floor. Cleaned the bathroom and vacuumed her living room. After our time Anita was extremely grateful. She felt that we had accomplished in three hours what would take her weeks to finish. Anita was very encouraged and felt hopeful that she would now be able to keep up. The team was excited at the progress and we all left feeling that we had made a significant difference in her life.

Name
First Last
Name
This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Energetic Hands

Step 1 of 3

33%

Energetic Hands Orientation
Energetic Hands is a longer term support program for Hands in Service clients who are unable to perform basic household tasks for themselves. Volunteers assist with basic household tasks; cleaning, laundry and food prep. This provides relational and practical support.

It is an amazing opportunity to build a relationship with someone in our community who may be isolated and unable to do basic housekeeping without assistance.

At Hands in Service our volunteers do not transport our clients nor do we ever accept gifts or money from our clients. If a client wishes to donate money they are able to do so through the Hands in Service office.

The Kit mentioned in the blitz orientation is a useful tool here as well.

Time Commitment: Max 4 hours a month, volunteer and client set their own schedule.

Energetic Hands Story
Lily was referred to us by Now Canada. She has a history of being physically abused and was in a serious car accident which left her with nerve damage and in a lot of pain. Due to her past and current pain Lily has had a history of depression and isolation. We have been going to see Lily for a few months, helping her organize and clean her home. We have given her assistance putting her clothes away in her bedroom and rearranging her living room to make it more functional. As well we vacuum and wash her dishes. Every time we are with Lily she shares more of her life with us. She is very appreciative of our help and looks forward to seeing us when we come. As she is receiving our help we can see her depression lifting. We look forward to continuing to help her with tasks so she can conserve her energy to heal.

Name
First Last
Comments
This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Youth Action Teams

Step 1 of 3

33%

Youth Action Team Orientation
This is a special type of Energetic Hands appropriate for youth groups and schools. A trained adult volunteer (Team Leader) accompanies the student team of 2-4 students to serve a Hands in Service client. The Youth Action Team clients are screened for suitability and their environment is screened for safety.

The Youth Action Teams meet their Team Leader at the client's home to serve as the client directs, generally twice a month for 1-2 hours each visit. You will meet your Team Leader in front of the client's home and get an update on your client, learn any unique circumstances for the day and get your assignments for the service.

YAT Teams in Action
Here are a couple of teams from Kelowna Christian School.

You might be on a Youth Action Team that visits several homes per week and in a few months you will have seen different homes in different conditions.

Name
First Last
Name
This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Team Leader

Step 1 of 3

33%

Team Leader Orientation
Team Leader for Youth Action Teams.
A Day Before Your Service:
You will receive your client report the day before the scheduled service. This report will contain the name of the client, address, brief notes on health concerns and the approximate number of students to expect.
The Day of Service:
Please arrive at the client’s home ahead of the student team and wait for them to arrive on the school bus. The bus starts at the school and follows a route to drop them off at each client’s location. The students should arrive between 10:30-10:45. It may take them longer to get to their assignments on some days depending on the bus route and other factors. The bus drivers greatly appreciate seeing the leader connect with the students before they head in.

When the team is complete, please take a few moments to go over any client health details which will prepare your students for service. After this connection you can head into the clients home, introduce yourself and the students and ask the client what they would like the students to do.

Using the time you have, help with delegation of cleaning tasks, assisting students with cleaning techniques, appropriate cleaning products and equipment. Some students will be very capable of cleaning, some will have marginal knowledge/skill and this is a great opportunity to model proper cleaning – a valuable bonus skill for youth. We have attached a cleaning checklist which you can use with the students to guide them in this process. During the cleaning and at completion, we invite you to converse, build relationship and with your client. We welcome you and the students to pray with the client’s permission.

Team Debrief
If you have time outside, waiting for the bus you can ask questions that will help the team develop empathy and a sense of accomplishment. You will always be watching for good things that your team members have done in the service. You can tell them in debrief what you saw them do and why it was good.

Here is an article with some ideas for debrief questions.

When the service is complete, say good bye to client and observe students boarding school bus. Contact our office via phone or email to give us a summary of the service day.

Please thank your team members for their service.

Contact Information
Name
First Last
Name
This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Hamper Delivery

Step 1 of 3

33%

Hamper Delivery Orientation
Together with the Central Okanagan Food Bank, Hands in Service provides a delivery service to Food Bank clients who are unable to transport their food home from the Food Bank. Our Delivery Drivers are screened in the same manner as all of our volunteers which gives everyone security and the Hamper Delivery Volunteers are given the ability to transfer to other Hands in Service roles.

When your orientation if complete you will get instructions emailed to you for the scheduling. You can choose the weeks that you wish to delivery. Typically a driver volunteers about once a month.The drivers are given an exact time to arrive at the Food Bank for pickup and the routes depend on how many hampers can fit in the vehicle used for delivery. The deliveries are arranged to be as smooth as possible within a geographic area within the City of Kelowna.

The drivers are given an exact time to arrive at the Food Bank for pickup and the routes depend on how many hampers can fit in the vehicle used for delivery. The deliveries are arranged to be as smooth as possible within a geographic area within the City of Kelowna.

Time Commitment: When scheduled Thursdays 10am-1pm .

Locating the Food Bank
2310 Enterprise Way Kelowna, BC V1X 4H7 is the street address. Drive into the parking lot, turn left towards loading docks. Let the volunteer know that you are there for the Hands in Service pickup. Then you pull up your vehicle to the loading doors and the Food Bank staff will help you load up for your deliveries. Please allow about three hours to do your deliveries. They are always done between 10 and 1 on Thursdays.

Since Hands in Service clients have complex medical challenges it is not unusual for one to be in the hospital when their food bank delivery is scheduled. If you can not find your delivery client you should call the Hands in Service office immediately for direction. At the office, we will try the client’s contact person and try to find a secure delivery location.

Contact Information
Name*
First Last
Email
This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Event Volunteer

Step 1 of 2

50%

Events Overview
Magical Night of Laughter
A Magical Night of Laughter – Love Gives Back Campaign” Two award winning performers: Comedian Tim Nutt & Magician Leif David! Proceeds will support our Living Salads - the Portable Community Garden project.
We need all sorts of volunteers! Folks to sell 50/50 tickets, strolling entertainers, artists, set up and tear down people... It is a one-night event so your commitment is small. You also get to see a terrific show.
Event Page...
Living Salads - the Portable Community Garden
Living Salads - The Portable Community Garden project brings the "outdoors" "in" for housebound and mobility challenged community members. If you love the idea of little gardens that people can nurture and harvest on their own balconies and you don't mind getting your hands dirty, you will love our Living Salads event. It happens early in the spring in a church parking lot and we need volunteers to scoop soil, plant little veggies, water and get the planters ready for delivery.
Event Page...
Walk & Roll Walker-thon
Raising awareness and support of our mobility and health challenged community members.
Our Walkerathon is a spectacle which raises both money and awareness. Our event volunteers participate and spread the word about the event. We also need volunteers to help set up and tear down and run games, even film and photographic are needed.
Event Page...
Touch of Christmas Craft & Vendor Fair
The “Touch of Christmas” Craft Fair is your unique one-stop Christmas experience; featuring more than 80 crafters and vendors, silent auction, 50/50 draw, live music and door prizes.
Every fall the administrative half of the Hands in Service office is consumed with planning and arranging the annual Touch of Christmas Fair. As the second largest Kelowna Christmas craft fair, the Touch of Christmas fair requires masses of set up, day-of and tear down volunteers. We need people for the silent auction, the online auction, selling tickets, helping vendors, clean up, cookie decorating and sales and more. If you like the excitement of a big, bright event then please volunteer for Touch of Christmas.
Event Page...
Walk & Roll Walker-thon
Raising awareness and support of our mobility and health challenged community members.
Our Walkerathon is a spectacle which raises both money and awareness. Our event volunteers participate and spread the word about the event. We also need volunteers to help set up and tear down and run games, even film and photographic are needed.
Event Page...

Step 3: Relational Tools

Click here to view the Relational Tools...

Step 1 of 7

14%

This segment of the orientation covers some of the invaluable relational tools which are helpful when working with people. These skills are empathy, respect, boundaries, dignity and active listening. We hope that in reviewing or learning these you will experience meaningful healthy relationships.
Empathy
Empathy is, at its simplest, awareness of the feelings and emotions of other people, it is the link between self and others, because it is how we as individuals understand what others are experiencing as if we were feeling it ourselves.

Empathy goes far beyond sympathy, which might be considered ‘feeling for’ someone. Empathy, instead, is ‘feeling with’ that person, through the use of imagination. Towards Empathy It may not always be easy, or even possible, to empathise with others but, through good people skills and some imagination, we can work towards more empathetic feelings.
Brené Brown explains empathy. Empathy and respect are at the heart of everything that we do at Hands in Service.

Confidentiality
Confidentiality, and the ability to keep information secret when necessary, are important under a wide range of circumstances. There may be times, when someone tells you something, or you become aware of information, that should not be spread further.
If something is confidential, it has been ‘given in confidence’, that is, in the trust that it will be kept secret. The root of the word is ‘confide’ or to tell someone something secret.
There are many types of information that are broadly confidential, including personal information (names, addresses, contact details and so on), medical or health information, and information about people’s behaviour or habits and activities.
A Guiding Principle for Confidentiality: Do As You Would Be Done By
A Guiding Principle for Confidentiality: Do As You Would Be Done By Perhaps the best policy to ensure that you are handling information sensitively, and respecting people’s confidentiality is to consider how you would feel if it were your personal information, and what you would want done with it. Of course, if someone has explained how they would like the information handled, that is simple. Otherwise, ‘Do as you would be done by’ is a simple rule, but extremely powerful.
You must never speak about Hands in Service clients in any way that diminishes them or that could be used to identify them. You may speak about your feeling about serving or your feelings about the agency.
Sometimes after an either amazing service or a difficult service you may need to debrief. Please call the office and talk to one of the field coordinators. They are aware of client issues, have full case files and are already in the loop of confidentiality.
If you aren't sure that you did or said the right thing when you were with a client, please call one of the field coordinators. They can help you with your worries and brain storm solutions to future challenges.
You will be filling out a confidentiality form within the Volunteer Application. It is taken seriously and if you break confidentiality you will be removed from client service.
Hands in Service 250.861.5465

Respect
Respect comes with embracing acceptance, forgiveness, not judging others, listening to and valuing their viewpoints and appreciating their personality.

People often unintentionally damage the mutual respect by violating their boundaries, pushing their opinions on others and by not accepting the other person’s individuality.

Being disrespectful often leads to a feeling of bitterness. Both parties should work together toward maintaining mutual respect in a relationship.
How do we show respect?
There are lots of ways of showing respect. While having respect for someone can be a feeling, we show respect through our actions and behaviours. Here are a range of examples:

• Asking to use someone else's stuff
• The way we speak to people using tone, words and body language
• Accepting others rights, needs and differences as okay and legitimate
• Giving others their own personal space and allowing for the level of personal space to change depending on situations and relationships
• Allowing others privacy
• Ensuring others can protect their modesty
• Following or living within the boundaries that have been set
• Maintaining others secrets that they have shared
• Attentive listening when others are speaking
• Responding to the concerns of others
• Avoiding gossiping or putting others down
• Showing interest in others about how they feel and what they think
• Ensuring everyone is included rather than excluded
• Keep agreements with others or living as your word
• Being sensitive to thoughts and feelings of others
• Working constructively to resolve problems and differences
• Listening to and accepting feedback
• Making changes to our behaviour if we fail to respect others
• Looking after others property
• Keeping the environment clean for everyone to enjoy
• Respecting yourself
Showing Respect for Others:
Just like with yourself, when you demonstrate respect for others, you give value to their being and ideals. In addition, you’ll make someone feel good by granting them respect, provided, of course, that it’s something that they deserve.

One of the best ways to show respect for someone is to truly listen to another’s point of view. Obviously, we’ll not always agree with one another on every topic (and you should never adopt a point of view with which you do not agree), but we should allow each other to have and express our own views – regardless of whether we agree with them or not.

“To be one, to be united is a great thing. But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.” Bono
What exactly is respect?
It’s the sense of worth or personal value that you attach to someone. Respect is an overall evaluation you give someone based on many factors – what that person is doing with their life, how they treat you and others, whether they are honest or not and if they seem to consistently do good things, large or small, for other people. In short, respect is a positive view that you form of how someone is living their life. On the other hand, self-respect is your view of how you’re living your life.

Boundaries
Boundaries are about knowing and communicating where you end and another person starts, what is and isn’t OK in your relationship. It is good to think about where your boundaries will be before you begin to serve your client.

You might want to think about how much information about your personal life, your medical conditions or family you are comfortable giving to the person whom you are serving. How much notice do you need if your time of service needs to change?

Often our clients have trouble with boundaries as well. They may have been in medical systems where they have little choice or because of their illnesses have taken advantage of helping people to get their needs met. You may need to help them maintain their boundaries as well by respecting that their choices are not your choices. Their needs do not become your needs and the terrible things that have happened to them are not happening to you.
There are several areas where boundaries apply:
Material Boundaries
Material boundaries determine whether you give or lend things, such as your money, car, clothes, books, food, or toothbrush.
Physical Boundaries
Physical boundaries pertain to your personal space, privacy, and body. Do you give a handshake or a hug – to whom and when? How do you feel about loud music, nudity, and locked doors?
Mental Boundaries
Mental boundaries apply to your thoughts, values, and opinions. Are you easily suggestible? Do you know what you believe, and can you hold onto your opinions? Can you listen with an open mind to someone else’s opinion without becoming rigid? If you become highly emotional, argumentative, or defensive, you may have weak emotional boundaries.
Emotional Boundaries
Emotional boundaries distinguish separating your emotions and responsibility for them from someone else’s. It’s like an imaginary line or force field that separates you and others. Healthy boundaries prevent you from giving advice, blaming or accepting blame. They protect you from feeling guilty for someone else’s negative feelings or problems and taking others’ comments personally. High reactivity suggests weak emotional boundaries. Healthy emotional boundaries require clear internal boundaries – knowing your feelings and your responsibilities to yourself and others.
Sexual Boundaries
Sexual boundaries protect your comfort level with sexual touch and activity – what, where, when, and with whom.
Spiritual Boundaries
Spiritual boundaries relate to your beliefs and experiences in connection with God or a higher power.

Dignity
Dignity is our inherent value and worth as human beings; everyone is born with it. The glue that holds all of our relationships together is the mutual recognition of the desire to be seen, heard, listened to, and treated fairly; to be recognized, understood, and to feel safe in the world. When our identity is accepted and we feel included, we are granted a sense of freedom and independence and a life filled with hope and possibility.

Take a minute to consider your special role as a caregiver. More than a professional caregiver, you know the person you care for. You know the whole person, his likes and dislikes, his individual strengths and weaknesses, and his wants and needs.

It’s easy to slip into a “protective” role when you care for someone else, especially a family member. But we need to remember that unless the person is experiencing some cognitive failure (brain damage because of a stroke, dementia, or other health problem), he still makes decisions about his life. Sometimes he may make decisions that you wouldn’t make, but it is his choice. This can be difficult for you as a caregiver; you will need to watch yourself and guard against overprotection.

Among the most important human needs is the desire for respect and dignity. That need doesn’t change when a person becomes ill or disabled. Indeed, it may grow even stronger. There are many things you can do to make sure the person in your care receives the respect and dignity that is every person’s basic human right.
Respect His Privacy, Physically And Emotionally
 Close the door when you help him dress or use the bathroom.
 Knock before opening a closed door.
 Don’t discuss confidential information with other people, even family members, without his permission.
Respect His Right To Make Choices
 By making choices we have a sense of control over our life. Let him decide what and when to eat, for example, if he is able.
 If he has cognitive problems, offer choices of what to eat, when to eat, what to wear. If he insists on wearing the same shirt every day, use a protective towel when he eats, and wash clothes in the evening.
 If a choice seems silly or unimportant to you, try to see why it may be important to him.
Treat Him With Dignity.
 Listen to his concerns.
 Ask for his opinions and let him know they are important to you.
 Involve him in as many decisions as possible..
 Include him in the conversation. Don’t talk about him as though he’s not there.
 Speak to him as an adult, even if you’re not sure how much he understands.

Active Listening
Active listening is all about building rapport, understanding, and trust. By learning the skills below, you will become a better listener and actually hear what the other person is saying — not just what you think they are saying or what you want to hear. It helps a person feel free to continue talking even if the person they are talking to doesn’t have a lot to offer the other person (other than their ear). Are you as good a listener as you think you are?
13 Steps to Better Active Listening Skills
Below you will find 13 different skills that help people be better active listeners. You do not have to become adept at each of these skills to be a good active listener, but the more you do, the better you’ll be. If you even just use 3 or 4 of these skills, you will find yourself listening and hearing more of what another person is saying to you.
1. Restating
To show you are listening, repeat every so often what you think the person said — not by parroting, but by paraphrasing what you heard in your own words. For example, “Let’s see if I’m clear about this. . .”
2. Summarizing
Bring together the facts and pieces of the problem to check understanding — for example, “So it sounds to me as if . . .” Or, “Is that it?”
3. Minimal encouragers
Use brief, positive prompts to keep the conversation going and show you are listening — for example, “umm-hmmm,” “Oh?” “I understand,” “Then?” “And?”
4. Reflecting
Instead of just repeating, reflect the speaker’s words in terms of feelings — for example, “This seems really important to you. . .”
5. Giving feedback
Let the person know what your initial thoughts are on the situation. Share pertinent information, observations, insights, and experiences. Then listen carefully to confirm.
6. Emotion labeling
Putting feelings into words will often help a person to see things more objectively. To help the person begin, use “door openers” — for example, “I’m sensing that you’re feeling frustrated. . . worried. . . anxious. . .”
7. Probing
Ask questions to draw the person out and get deeper and more meaningful information — for example, “What do you think would happen if you. . .?”
8. Validation
Acknowledge the individual’s problems, issues, and feelings. Listen openly and with empathy, and respond in an interested way — for example, “I appreciate your willingness to talk about such a difficult issue. . .”
9. Effective pause
Deliberately pause at key points for emphasis. This will tell the person you are saying something that is very important to them.
10. Silence
Allow for comfortable silences to slow down the exchange. Give a person time to think as well as talk. Silence can also be very helpful in diffusing an unproductive interaction.
11. “I” messages
By using “I” in your statements, you focus on the problem not the person. An I-message lets the person know what you feel and why — for example, “I know you have a lot to say, but I need to. . .”
12. Redirecting
If someone is showing signs of being overly aggressive, agitated, or angry, this is the time to shift the discussion to another topic.
13. Consequences
Part of the feedback may involve talking about the possible consequences of inaction. Take your cues from what the person is saying — for example, “What happened the last time you stopped taking the medicine your doctor prescribed?”

Contact Information
Name*
First Last
Name
This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Volunteer Orientation

Please move through the steps of the orientation. There will be some areas to read and some interactive portions.

Step 1: Hands in Service Agency Overview

Click here to view the agency overview...

Step 1 of 5

Agency Overview - A word from our Executive Director

Core Services

Our Clients

Volunteer Roles - We have many ways to be involved!

Step 2: Various ways to get involved.

Click here to view all volunteer options.

Blitz Team

Energetic Hands

Youth Action Teams

Team Leader

Hamper Delivery

Event Volunteer

Blitz Team

Step 1 of 4

Blitz Team Orientation

Your Kit

Blitz Story

Energetic Hands

Step 1 of 3

Energetic Hands Orientation

Energetic Hands Story

Youth Action Teams

Step 1 of 3

Youth Action Team Orientation

YAT Teams in Action

Team Leader

Step 1 of 3

Team Leader Orientation

A Day Before Your Service:

The Day of Service:

Team Debrief

Contact Information

Hamper Delivery

Step 1 of 3

Hamper Delivery Orientation

Locating the Food Bank

Contact Information

Event Volunteer

Step 1 of 2

Events Overview

Magical Night of Laughter

Living Salads - the Portable Community Garden

Walk & Roll Walker-thon

Touch of Christmas Craft & Vendor Fair

Walk & Roll Walker-thon

Contact Information

Step 3: Relational Tools

Click here to view the Relational Tools...

Step 1 of 7

Empathy

Confidentiality

A Guiding Principle for Confidentiality: Do As You Would Be Done By

Respect

How do we show respect?

Showing Respect for Others:

What exactly is respect?

Boundaries

There are several areas where boundaries apply:

Material Boundaries

Physical Boundaries

Mental Boundaries

Emotional Boundaries

Sexual Boundaries

Spiritual Boundaries

Dignity

Respect His Privacy, Physically And Emotionally

Respect His Right To Make Choices

Treat Him With Dignity.

Active Listening

13 Steps to Better Active Listening Skills

1. Restating

2. Summarizing

3. Minimal encouragers

4. Reflecting

5. Giving feedback